My Body Is Ready

“Nice try, pathetic-ass month! And what's with your stuuuupid name? Feburrrrrruuuerrary? Could you fit more awkward 'r's in your name? Oh, it's so cold outside, people won't notice that they mispronounce you every single time they time they say your name! It's not 'Feb-yoo-ary', you freaking motherfucking month. I'm sick of it. Just never come back again! And what's with Wednesday?” Kohana asks dramatically, clawing the air and flailing her arms around. “You act like a little old regular two-syllable day like, 'Oh, it's just Wenzday,' and you think no one notices. But you're really three syllables. 'Wed', 'nes', and 'day'. Don't even try to act like Monday or Friday! You're not even close. 'But Saturday is a three syllable day,'” Kohana mocks, crossing her eyes. “'But, but, but...' Shut your pie hole! Saturday deserves the three syllable because it kicks off the weekend and you're just a regular weekday. Don't even try to compare yourself with Saturday!”